After the Rain Before the Storm
by SeaSaw
Summary: The family that 'preys' together, stays together. A little ficlet written from various inspirations. There is dark content, so please read at your own risk. Hoffman/Amanda, John/Michelle, Hoffman/Michelle, and Amanda/John. Reviews loved.
1. Night Terror

Gently and quietly she closed the door behind her, waiting for the sound of the click to make sure it was locked before she continued down the stairs into the lair. It was clearly after midnight but what hour it was exactly she wasn't sure. She had lost track of all time here and now the days seemed to move at whatever pace plans happened to. Looking around the lair for a moment as she stood in the middle of the room, she realized everyone must have been asleep before she removed her boots and set them aside to quietly wander through without bothering anyone. The late night of sitting outside was something she needed from time-to-time, everyone getting accustomed to her need to be alone every now and then. What kept her out much longer then usual was watching the snow start to fall from the sky, the final snow of the season that would close out the winter month.

She rubbed her arms trying to warm herself up before heading up the stairs and disappearing into the monitor room, curious to see how the progression of building the traps in the rooms was going. Flipping them on, she winced in the green and black tinted light before it dimmed and she got a better view of everything. Looking at each monitor, she shook her head, silently reprimanding herself for even being involved in this practice, but what more could she do? She owed John a lot and she was learning that paying that back to him was coming in rather interesting conditions. Rubbing the back of her neck a bit, she reached over in the darkness to flip the monitors back off, her hand hitting John's cherished message carrier. In the darkness that occurred after the monitors were off that eerie and unsettling laugh resounded rather loudly and not only did she almost jump out of skin at the sound, but the octave in which it was echoing in the room would surely wake someone up. She picked him up off the table and frowned, fumbling around in the darkness to try and stop his laughter but unfortunately it only stopped when the loop was over. Groaning, she pressed the offending doll to her chest, trying to muffle him until he finally stopped, pulling him away and shaking her head as she looked at him in the darkness. "You're one creepy little bastard. I hate that laugh." Setting him back down on the table, she peeked around the corner, relieved that no one had woken up before making her way to John's room to make sure he was alright. Merely peering around the corner, she was satisfied to see that he was actually up tonight and working comfortably before slowly turning on her heel.

"…what are you doing sneaking around at this hour?"

She froze for a moment and sheepishly turned back around, pushing the plastic flaps to the side and stepping into his room (after all, when he addressed her, she learned to answer promptly). "I wasn't sneaking I was just outside for a while. I didn't even realize what time it was." He never looked up from his sketch, her eyes trailing to the paper, watching the pencil move with ease as if he were copying a picture directly from his mind with no references. He still didn't look up at her, waiting for her to continue she gathered before she spoke softly now "…I'm sorry."

"No need to apologize. Be more prompt from now on. Now get some sleep, we have a lot to do tomorrow." She furrowed her brows and frowned, sighing and nodding her head before she started to push through the plastic flaps to head to her own bed. John cleared his throat and she turned around, pausing to look at him "…sleep here. I'm busy tonight and I would prefer to know where you are." He was abrasive with his request which flustered her in a way she couldn't quite explain, but all the same she nodded in agreement and walked to his bed. Since he was so busy, she didn't feel the least bit apprehensive about sliding off her jeans and climbing into his bed in her underwear and tank top to be more comfortable as she slept. As she did so though, she was unaware that John's pencil had stopped moving and for a good long while he was watching her out of the corner of his eye until she disappeared under the covers and curled up in the same fetal position she always did against the wall. John sighed and took a few moments to return to the task at hand, frustrated with himself. They had spent the past week with him so busy he didn't have time for her and often times the only time he spent was when she would end up falling asleep in his bed when he demanded her company. He hadn't slept next to her in a long time and tonight would be no different from the previous - or would it?

John leaned back in his chair and peered over at the young woman sleeping quietly in his bed, his lips attempting to curl up into a smile before he rose and headed out of the room to go get himself a glass of water. It was a long night filled with planning, drawing, and trying to work out all the kinks in some of his plans. As he passed by one of the tables he paused, picking up the paper that was lying face down on it, crumpled up. Pulling the edges out and flattening it, John raised a brow slowly before smirking in a much more sinister fashion then he had in a long time as Jigsaw crawled out from behind his façade. He was amazed by the intricate detail, the attention to how gears and mechanisms properly functioned, and by the very idea of the trap design. He had no idea that was capable of this kind of thought but something provoked him to want to see more. Folding up the paper, he tucked it into his pocket, quite interested in building this design considering there were little to no flaws in the way she designed it - it would a perfect trap for the perfect test subject. Finally making it to the sink, he turned on the water, filling up a cup only partway before sticking a straw in it and taking a drink. The cool liquid felt good cascading down his sore throat - sore from the violent coughing fits, sore from the small amounts of blood that always seemed to come up from deep within his lungs. He paused as he heard a loud thud, peering around the lair to make sure that no one was trying to enter his abode but once sure it wasn't anywhere outside, he frowned as he heard it again. He discovered the direction of the sound was coming from was his room. Setting the cup down on the sink, he made his way back as quickly as possible, pushing aside the plastic flaps and glancing at his bed to find Michelle was missing from it. A bit startled by her sudden disappearance, he calmed down when he heard sounds coming from the bathroom, figuring that perhaps she just woke up to use it. As he slowly approached so as not to scare her, he heard the clattering of metal and other various objects into the sink, raising a brow curiously. Peering around the corner, John rushed in quickly following that as he saw her sobbing at the sink with a razor in her hand, mutilating her arms and the large quantity of blood pooling from the wounds. "Michelle!" he practically screamed her name to get her to stop but she didn't even look up at him, mumbling to herself and clearly in a state of shock and panic. Grabbing hold of the hand with the blade in it, he was even startled when she turned to him abruptly and tried to start fighting him, shoving him violently into the wall.

"NO! Leave me the fuck alone!!! I have to find the fucking key!!"

Key? Oh god, she was having a serious mental breakdown and John had to stop her before she cut something major and ended up bleeding to death. This time it wasn't her fault, she wasn't trying to hurt herself, she swore she was in a trap fighting for her life just like she had done before, obviously having grabbed some mental imagery from seeing other people in their own traps. "Michelle! Michelle wake up! You're not in a trap, you're safe! Come here!" He grabbed her again, amazed at the strength she possessed when adrenaline pumped through her body at a fierce pace. She was fighting him for all she was worth, John getting covered in her blood as she violently flailed in his arms, unable to wake up from this horrific night terror she was having.

"GET OFF OF ME!! YOU'RE GONNA KILL US BOTH!! I HAVE TO FIND IT!!"

"There's no key!" he shook her aggressively, trying to get her to wake up, taking hold of her shoulders when he finally managed to spin her around and hold her tight to his chest. That was when she dropped the razor blade to the floor, hitting him as hard as she could, but John could take the abuse. "Michelle listen to me! It's John! No one is hurting you!" He shouted at her but couldn't get her to wake up as her body shook with the violent sobbing that overcame her. What was he going to do? She wasn't waking up and if he didn't stop her and get those wounds checked out and bandaged she could end up with more problems. She pounded at his chest, John holding her as tight as he could, his shirt now soaked in her blood.

Suddenly her pounding at his chest ceased as he continued to call her name, something snapping her back to consciousness. She stopped hitting him, blinking a couple times and looking around at her surroundings as everything came into focus again. The dark room was gone, the timer on the wall was no longer there, the strange man trying to force her to let herself die materialized into John, and she could hear the pounding of John's heart in her ears, louder then she had ever heard it before. She was breathing hard, a last tear streaming down both cheeks as she looked up into those blue eyes that were brimming with concern. She finally looked down at his shirt, seeing that it was soaked in blood, her confused expression turning into one of horror but she hadn't seen the worst of it. Her vision finally focused on the hundreds of slices all over her arms and wrists, her mouth opening with a silent scream, her voice quivering as all she managed to do was squeak out a bunch of little sounds. She balled up John's shirt in her fists before sinking in his arms, John holding her tighter to try and keep her up. "Oh my god…oh my god…what…what…"

She was starting to panic so John quickly directed her gaze up to him, shaking his head. "Shh, easy. It's okay, it's okay…listen to me. Michelle, Michelle come on…you're okay, this isn't your fault."

"Then who's fucking fault is it?!" she finally managed to scream before crying hysterically, John unable to keep her calm as she sunk to the floor. He sank down with her, continuing to hold her against his chest - the adrenaline was keeping her up now but the minute it stopped, she'd become weak and unable to do anything and he wanted to get her out of here before that, but this was on her time now, she had to calm down.

Bringing a hand up, he placed it on her head, pressing it against his chest and rubbing her back with the other. "Easy. Calm down, calm down okay. It was an accident." He was concerned about the blood loss at this point, quickly reaching over to grab a towel on the floor and pushed her back a little, wrapping it around her arm tightly. She was unable to control herself and he figured it was an affect of waking up in such a horrifying position and trying to focus her mind which was clearly a mess right now. "Michelle, listen to the sound of my voice. You're safe, no one is hurting you." It took a good 5 minutes before she finally settled down, John finally tilting his head to the side to look at her. She was pale and shaking, clearly weak from the amount of blood loss and he needed to take care of that now. "Come on. I'll help you. We have to take care of these cuts." Lifting her off the floor, she weakly followed him into the medical room and practically fell into the chair, John grabbing alcohol and gauze. Pulling the other chair in the room up in front of her, he unwrapped the towel, turning her arms over - unfortunately she did it just as bad to one as the other and if he hadn't stopped her he would have hated to see where she tried to find the "missing key" next. When she saw the mutilation to her arm as John poured alcohol on it and cuts became more visible, her lip started to quiver and she shuddered, about to break into tears again. "Shh. It's okay, everything will be fine." He reached over, squeezing her shoulder before returning to cleaning out and bandaging her wounds.

She was terribly woozy, but the worst part was she was confused. She had no clue what she did to herself, she was completely unaware of her behavior she just remembered seeing herself in a trap and believing that if she didn't find the key to unlock the door, she was going to die. "Wh--what happened?" her voice was shaky and weak as she watched John pick his head up and look at her, a deep frown crossing his features.

"You don't remember anything? I found you in the bathroom cutting yourself apart claiming you had to find a key."

"No, I remember what I thought…was real. I was trapped in a room, I had to find a key, the timer was counting down and some person I didn't know was…trying to force me to kill myself."

"…that must have been when I grabbed you." He watched, concerned after what happened as he wrapped her wrists and arms. "Has something been on your mind?" Looking into her hazel eyes he saw the confusion before he finished up, gently patting her hand and standing up, still in hearing distance if she cared to answer him - he hoped she would.

"Well, no, I…I don't know, I guess I'm stressed or…"

John sat back down in front of her, taking hold of her hands "It's okay. How about you sit this one out, alright? Besides, I don't want you making these worse, some of them might need stitches but we'll see how they heal on their own before we make that decision." He stood up, taking hold of her hand and helping her to her feet, placing his arm around her waist to guide her out since the fatigue was clearly starting to take over. He guided her over to his bed, setting her down before gently taking hold of the bottom of her tank top - it was soaked in blood and she didn't need to sleep in that. He helped lift it over her head, listening to her whimper at the pain that was finally setting in. He hated seeing her in pain like that, but unfortunately there wasn't anything he could have done unless he was right there when she got up and even then he wasn't her captor, she was free to go into whatever room she felt necessary. He helped her lay down, now only in her bra and underwear before gently pulling the covers overtop of her. Looking to his desk, he realized he had more work to do, but tonight he needed to put it off and help her feel safe. He watched her curl into the fetal position again like she always did and removed his own shirt and pants that were covered in her blood, sliding underneath of the covers. Gently, he pulled her out of her curled up place on the bed and brought her to his chest, taking hold of her hand and setting it over his heart. Tilting his head to the side, John watched as she started to unwillingly fall asleep, but it was the best thing for her as his fingers ran over the back of her hand. Pressing a kiss to her forehead, he watched her eyes flutter open before he placed a finger under her chin, lifting her head and gently pressing his lips to her own. He smiled as she head dropped back down to his chest, taking his other hand and trialing his fingers down the middle of her spine as he took the night off to finally get some sleep.


	2. Confrontation

_I see nothing in your eyes and the more I see, the less I like. Is it over yet in my head? I know nothing of your kind and I won't reveal your evil mind. Is it over yet? I can't win. So sacrifice yourself and let me have what's left. I know that I can find the fire in your eyes. I'm going all the way, get away please. You take the breath right out of me. You left a hole where my heart should be. You gotta fight just to make it through. Cause I will be the __**death **__of you._

"…what's up with your arms? Try to off yourself again? Oh no, perhaps it was rug burn from what you John do that's 'important'."

"Mark…why do you insist on tormenting me every chance you get?" She peered over her shoulder at Hoffman who was leaning against the doorway, his hands stuffed into his pockets as he watched her very carefully. She saw him grin at her question, rather content with the idea that he was essentially tormenting her. Stepping into the room, she watched his every move as he pulled a chair out from the table in the room she was sitting in and sat down backwards on it, leaning against the back of the chair. They were both waiting for John and Amanda to bring down all the pieces needed to finish up the construction of the trap and she technically wasn't going to be able to help with much, but John preferred she stay within his view with the issues going on with Hoffman and Amanda both in regards to her very presence here. "Are you waiting for an explanation or just being the token asshole you always are?"

Hoffman smirked and shook his head, pointing at her arms covered in bandages "I'm waiting for an answer."

"…we're not supposed to even be talking to one another, or did you forget that?" Sighing, she looked back at the table she was sitting at, tapping her fingers on it, but the way he was burning a hole in her with his stare, she couldn't help but to make eye contact with him and saw the glimmer of fire that was hidden.

"It's just a question. Stop being John fucking pet and get your own personality."

"I have my own personality asshole, that's why I don't care to keep your fucking company."

"Well I can chain you to the fucking table in here and make due with the time we have alone and break you in two or you can have a simple conversation with me, you choose." Grinning he went to rise from the chair, watching her expression change to horror before she balled her hand up into a fist and pounded it into the table in a fit of anger, causing him to chuckle. "Temper temper…" His chiding was doing nothing but infuriating her and he smiled as he saw her close her eyes and try and focus on not being annoyed at him.

"I didn't try to off myself. Apparently I thought I was in a trap with a key in my fucking arm and was promptly searching for it with a fucking razor blade that I swore was a much bigger knife. I thought some guy was trying to force me to kill myself until I woke up and realized it was only John." She looked down at the bandages on her arms and sighed, fingering them lightly before she heard the detective clear his throat to get her attention. Turning to look at him, she pursed her lips together briefly realizing he was studying her very carefully. "…whatever you have to say, spit it the fuck out."

Chuckling at her abrasive nature in an attempt to fend him off, he stood up, dragging the chair closer and reached out quickly, grabbing her arm as he sat down. He felt her tense and try and pull away from him, jerking it harder and essentially sliding her chair right up against his. Her eyes were wide and she looked horrified, peering down at his hand, her fingers tightening into a fist as a natural reaction. Ignoring her, he brought his fingers down to her forearm, touching the bandages in places where she still had issues with bleeding through the dressing and looked up at her, grinning before pressing his fingers hard into those spots. She yelped and doubled over, reaching towards him with her other hand only to have him grab it and pull her so her face was inches from his own. He liked seeing her in pain and he put both of her small wrists into one of his hands, using the other to put a finger under her chin, watching her expression contort into anger. "…ooo, is that a little spark of anger I see there?" He felt his own hands shaking, trying desperately to control himself from losing it and massacring her right here in this room - that wouldn't go over well, John would see it and he'd be as sure as dead. Before he did anything else he heard the door open, letting go of her wrists and essentially felt her loop her foot around the leg of his chair but before he could stand up, she yanked as hard as she could, sending him toppling to the floor.

She didn't look at him as she looked up at John and Amanda entering the room, however she didn't have to look at Hoffman to realize he was absolutely fuming angry at the fact she just made him face plant into concrete. John eyeballed them both curiously before Hoffman got to his feet. John motioned for him to help Amanda before taking the chair that was now tipped over on the floor and picking it up, setting it down next to Michelle as she watched him and sitting down next to her. They made eye contact briefly and she simply smiled before they both turned their attention back to the two putting the trap together. John provided instructions and Michelle simply sat and watched - it wasn't really a beneficial use of her time, but all the same John felt the need to explain to her what the trap did and the importance of each piece. It took about a hour for everything to finish before they were done for the day and all headed upstairs. Amanda and John were the first two to leave, Hoffman and Michelle the last and Hoffman watched her every move, almost painstakingly calculating the best way to cause her more unnecessary agony.

John had been mildly suspicious of Hoffman's behavior with Michelle, especially after the night he found her on the floor and the next day when Hoffman had an unnecessary lump on the side of his head, but he kept his suspicions to himself for the time being. He looked over his shoulder to see the two of them had stopped and were staring each other down quietly. He was watching to make sure Hoffman didn't do anything he could use as an excuse to put him in a trap and placed a hand on Amanda's shoulder to stop her in her tracks for a moment. Amanda had also turned to face the direction John was, watching carefully as they could see both their mouths moving but they were talking quietly so neither of them would hear. Whatever was said must have pissed Michelle off as she turned quickly, Hoffman sporting a smirk. She was quickly next to John before passing him even though he reached out for her to stop her - it was the first time she shrugged John's hand away and ignored him. Sighing he brushed a hand over his face, glaring at Hoffman who shrugged before John turned and followed in the direction she went.


	3. Lovers Sacrifice

**This is rather twisted and a little dark. It was done for fun so don't get all huffy on me if you don't like the content.**

**My mind tends to work in mysterious ways. Hoffman/Amanda lovers rejoice - it took me a while to think of a way to write them.**

**Exploring the darker side of these two unstable entities.**

**READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.**

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Standing in the shower, the hot water cascaded down her back as she looked down at the now soaked dressing on her arms. She had been uncomfortable with the idea of pulling away the bandages and seeing the extent of the damage she did to herself, but she felt that perhaps her cuts could use a little bit of fresh air to assist in the healing process which would creep along slowly. Fingering the bandages for a moment, she sighed and finally decided that since she got them wet in the first place (which John instructed her specifically not to do) that she might as well remove them entirely. Very gingerly, she undid the end of the dressing on her right arm and very slowly started to unwrap the bandage. Dropping the sopping wet bandage to the shower floor, she reached up and slowly started to remove the gauze that was padding and protecting the wounds from any unnecessary rubbing or infection. The first pieces that came off of her wrist revealed what looked like nothing more to her then when she had tried to slit her wrists in the past; that memory was never a good one. Removing the following pads of gauze from her arm, she felt a sinking sensation in the pit of her stomach and a nausea as she saw the true extent of what she had done in her fit of terror. All she saw that night it happened was a river of blood pooling from her arms onto her and John's shirts, but she never got to see how deep she really sent the razor blade into her flesh. Shaky fingers brushed against the cuts - she was horrified at how badly she massacred herself in an attempt to find an illusive key that never existed in the first place. As her shock started to wear off she removed the other bandage, the other arm as badly damaged as the first one she unveiled. This very place, this lifestyle she was sure would be the death of her if she didn't find a proper way to cope with it. But did she have the horrifying nightmare because of what she had seen happen to others and essentially herself or was it also the stresses of the confusing relationships she had developed with all three members of this dysfunctional family?

Placing her arms under the hot water, she cringed as she felt the stinging sensation going up her arm and creeping down her spine but soon it gave way to a dull throbbing. It was only three days after it happened so she didn't expect a miracle, but she would have preferred not to have such horrific scars for the rest of her life - might as well add them to the arsenal she already sported, but being so out in the open is what bothered her the most. She was slowly coming undone and it was a bit overwhelming, but for the moment she simply closed her eyes and tilted her head back to the sensation of the steaming water brushing against her skin. Her eyes opened to a rather…interesting sound she heard creep under the door before she turned the water off, her hand on the handle as she tried to listen carefully to see if she heard it again. Whatever it was, it was muffled and since John was out at the moment, she was a bit apprehensive about the prospect of authorities managing to get through all the "booby traps" and make it into the lair. Stepping out of the shower, she grabbed the towel off the floor and wrapped it around herself, her soaking wet hair dripping down her back as she very slowly peered around the corner. After ensuring there wasn't anyone close by she heard the sound again, pausing and looking down the emptiness of the hallway. Hmmm. Stepping out into the open, she looked into the industrial sink next to the door and saw a rather questionable knife, pulling it out and taking it with her as she tucked the end of the towel in to secure it around herself. Slowly padding her way down the hallway, the sound continued to get louder and for a moment she raised a brow as what he was hearing - it sounded very similar to a woman and some man talking at random intervals. She found herself stopping at Amanda's room and paused there against the wall, listening to carefully to what he never would have expected to hear; well then, looked like two people who having more then their fair share of fun and one of which who, although wasn't told someone couldn't do it to him, still was breaking the rules. Stepping round the corner, she looked into the room, almost wishing she hadn't considering what was now probably an image permanently burnt into the recesses of her mind.

There was Amanda, in all her glory, brunette hair cascading down her back with her head tilted back and her fingers pressed into the obvious muscles adorning Mark Hoffman's chest. Rolling her hips in wide circles, she moaned, arching her back to send him deeper. Her slow, painstaking movements were only executed to make him beg for more, ache for her - after all, Amanda didn't like to surrender her control to anyone; except John (she couldn't help that one). As Hoffman's grip on her hips got tighter, his fingers creating small bruises on her hips, she leaned down closer to him, pressing her lips tightly to his own and allowing him the chance to take a little bit of control which he did rather willingly.

Holding tight to her hips, Hoffman pushed and pulled them, his pace increasingly dramatically as he grunted, thrusting his hips upwards into her. Her lips broke from his own and she moaned his name causing the animal within to go wild. He pushed her up and pulled her down, slamming her hips down onto his own at a maddening pace just to hear her scream and since John wasn't there and Michelle was more then likely occupying her time outside like she did when he was gone, they figured there was no harm done - no one would be aware of their ministrations. Mark slammed her down harder and harder, listening to her breathing change, listening to her gasp at certain intervals. Thrusting up into her hard, he heard her start to gasp his name, felt her muscles tightening around his member and went to town. "Scream it Amanda…scream my name…" husky and almost out of breath, he demanded her submission to that request and growled before throwing his head back as she did exactly what he wanted. They both shook with their orgasms, Hoffman's arms coming up to wrap around her petite frame.

Amanda rested her head against Mark's chest, breathing hard and trying to catch her breath - the man definitely knew how to please a woman in bed, there was no doubting that. In her silent euphoria she heard the sound of metal hitting the floor and picked her head up quickly, Hoffman doing the same and peering at the doorway. Wherever it came from, it sounded close. Amanda climbed off of Hoffman and with little regard to the state she was in, she stormed towards the door. She disappeared out the doorway for a moment, Hoffman sitting up and waiting in the dim lighting of her room to see what was going on in the darkness of the hallway. He heard something that sounded like a struggle and quickly reached down to his pants to pull the gun out of the holster until he saw the small frame of Michelle come tumbling through the doorway and Amanda coming up behind her, clearly more amused then he felt she should be at this juncture.

Michelle scrambled to get to her feet but was unsuccessful as she felt Amanda take hold of her hair, pulling her up, gripping tightly to the towel around her to keep it from falling. Clearly she was just trying to get away from the doorway not the least bit interested in what they were doing, but she fumbled the knife and gave herself away. Amanda slammed her into the wall, pressing her hard against it with her arm behind her neck, Michelle cringing and pressing against it with her hands to try and push off.

"Well look who was snooping around in the hallways. Did you like what you saw? Huh? Not that you fucking cared like I did when I saw you fucking John." Amanda snarled in her ear, watching her cringe at the mention of the time she saw her and John together. Suddenly Amanda turned her attention to Hoffman who was grinning, setting his pistol aside and grinned herself. "Hmm, I think I know what to do with you."

"What…?" she felt herself yanked away from the wall but it wasn't by Amanda, Hoffman taking hold of her by the arm. When she tried to push away from him he grabbed her wrist with his other hand and spun her around, pushing her. She stumbled and fell onto Amanda bed before feeling Amanda crawl on top of her and grab her wrists. She cringed and looked away, trying not to stare at the woman who clearly didn't have any qualms about being nude and sitting on her like this. Her eyes suddenly widened as she felt what appeared to be some kind of rope going around her ankles, starting to flail, but unsuccessfully with Amanda placing all her weight on her.

Amanda grinned and grabbed her face with one hand as Hoffman tied up one wrist. "What's wrong? You seem uncomfortable…" smirking Amanda leaned down and pressed a rather superficial kiss (almost as if to say 'good luck') to her lips before sliding off as Hoffman finished tying up her other wrist. In the process Amanda had grabbed the top of her towel and essentially pulled it off, leaving her bound and exposed.

"OKAY OKAY!!! Enough, stop! You two are fucking sick!!!" She pulled on the restraints, wincing at the feeling of the rope digging into her skin. She watched them both closely as they looked to one another before Amanda approached Hoffman, pressing a hand to his bare chest and bringing her lips to his own. Their tongues met, tangling together, Hoffman taking hold of her butt and pulling her close, groaning at the close contact before they broke away from one another. Amanda walked to the middle of the room, picking up the knife that Michelle had in her hand and smiled, pressing the tip of it into her finger. Her eyes fluttered shut at the sensation of pain before she grinned, looking to Hoffman.

Mark started to advance towards the restrained young woman, watching her flail around aggressively trying to get her hands out of the ropes. "Oh you won't be getting out that easy. Trust me." He came up to the side of the bed, looking her up and down. She wasn't nearly as perfect as Amanda but the scars reminded him so much of the other woman in the room who was watching him intently. He tilted his head to the side, bringing a hand up and brushing a finger against her cheek, smirking as he watched all the color drain from her face and her fingers curl up to make tightly wound fists. "I wouldn't suggest tensing up. I warned you…" as he spoke Amanda approached with the knife in hand, bringing the tip of it under her chin causing her to freeze. Her heart was pounding so fiercely that they could both hear it, the pounding getting louder as Amanda drug the tip of the knife down her neck, across her collarbone, between her breasts all the way to her belly button. Whatever sick thing they were planning, Michelle had never seen two people so morbidly perfect for one another or amused at the helplessness of another. Hoffman took one finger, lightly trailing it down her exposed skin and felt the tension rippling through every part of her body as he got to her thigh, drawing small circles on the top of it.

"…for the love of fucking god, please don't do this. Don't do this. Please…" Her voice shook as she pleaded with the two of them, as Amanda looked at her smiling, pressing the knife to her lips to tell her to be quiet. "…what are you going to do…??" she felt the tears threatening to break the surface and saw the two look at one another before smiling devilishly and looking back to her.

A horrified scream echoed through the lair followed by a number of pleas, begging, and crying before it went silent in the lair again. John returned home, closing the door behind him and looked over at the table to see Amanda sipping tea. She smiled at her teacher, her father, the man she wished was much more (even now) before he smiled back and walked back towards his room. She raised the cup to her lips and grinned a bit before hearing the sound of footsteps as Hoffman walked through the room past her, smiling himself before grabbing himself a glass of water. He leaned against the sink and watched her for a moment before pushing off and heading back towards his room.

As John entered his room he found Michelle lying there asleep in his bed, not curled up in the blankets as she normally was. Instead she was lying peacefully there and for a moment John felt a huge sense of relief, figuring that perhaps her emotional and mental wounds were healing much faster then he anticipated. He didn't notice the misplaced organization of the sedatives and the one missing and he would never know what happened that night because she would never remember herself - and for Hoffman and Amanda it was best left that way.


	4. Jigsaw's Pet

**Oh yeah this one's M rated. And kind of dark.**

**I'm not sure where this inspiration comes from.**

**Remember, no flames thanks.**

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_

_Rest in me and I'll comfort you. I have lived and I died for you. Abide in me and I vow to you I will never forsake you. They'll never see, I'll never be. I struggled on and on to feed this hunger burning deep inside of me._

As she started to come out of her final cycle of sleep her fingers flexed a bit, groaning as her head lulled side to side. She felt strangely weary and tried to bring her hands to face to rub at her still closed eyes only to realize that…well she couldn't move her arms at all. Pulling a bit, still groggy and in a daze, she fingered the cold metal fastened around both her wrists, looped around a couple times. Finally she managed to open her eyes but she saw absolutely nothing but darkness. For a moment she panicked, wondering if something had happened and she went blind but that would be silly - she had perfect vision. Trying to move her mouth she realized that she not only was bound by the wrists but she had a gag in her mouth, the gritty feeling of the fabric in her mouth was frightening and confusing all the same. Pulling harder on the chain, she winced before trying to shout for help with nothing but a muffled mumble. Trying to move her legs wasn't going to happen either as she could feel something cold and metal around her ankles…what the hell? She heard the buzz of lights coming on and realized, without a doubt, she was blindfolded, not in the dark. …what the hell was going on here? She felt a chill across her skin and realized that on top of being bound, blindfolded, and gagged she was completely naked. She could feel the cold metal of the table underneath of her, grunting as she pulled violently on the chain, fighting desperately in her state of panic. Oh fuck, someone's in here with me. The voice was strange and slightly unfamiliar to her at the moment - deep and dark, husky and gritty, and overall well masked. She never even remembered being moved and what about John?! Did he seriously sleep through this late night abduction?!

"I wouldn't suggest that. All you're going to manage to do is cause yourself pain. Unless that's what you want." Whoever it was speaking to her, she could hear the sound of their boots as they approached, their fingers brushing against her cheek and causing her to tense uncomfortably at the feel of what seemed to be gloves. Michelle couldn't speak, but she sure as hell was swearing through the barrier of the gag in her mouth, hearing the person in the room with her chuckle. She could feel their breath on her neck, freezing uncomfortably as the only senses available to her right now were touch and hearing. "…there are rules, listen carefully, though listening is really all you can do. You don't have any way to get out of your restraints and in a few minutes I will turn off the lights in the room and remove your blindfold and gag. I suggest you do as your told and do not make an unnecessary amount of noise because no one can hear but me. So you may be asking yourself…what's the point of this trap? What are you learning?" She heard a devious chuckle before she heard the sound of the light switch being hit in the room and surely darkness cloaked her and everything around her now "I will show you."

She felt the blindfold come off and shortly following the gag was pulled down to settle around her neck. Peering around in the darkness, she turned her head side to side trying desperately to get her eyes to adjust, but this was a room that seemed to be so well enclosed that there was no way in hell light could even filter under the door. "Hoffman I swear to fucking god if this is you and I get out of this alive I will slit your fucking throat so help me!!! Let me go!" She tensed at the laughter she heard, uncomfortable at the fact that her attacker had absolutely no concerns about her getting out alive. She pulled hard on the chain again, whimpering at the pain of the chains digging into her skin and the strain on her wrists. She couldn't move any part of her body, how the hell was she supposed to get herself out of this tra--oh shit, it had to be Hoffman or Amanda intending for her NOT to get out but what did this thing do? As the footsteps started to advance towards her again, she jerked her head to the side, cringing at the single light that snapped on above her head and almost blinded her due to it's location in her visual field. Blinking a couple times to get the multi-colored spots out of her retinas and to focus again, she noted that whoever this person was was standing at the end of the table dressed in the black and red robes, the hood pulled over their head to conceal their face. It was certainly a man, much too tall to be Amanda and that frightened her. After what happened with what she saw, there was a very good chance that Hoffman was planning on getting even and since the man was wearing gloves, she had a bad feeling that bleeding would be involved.

From between her parted legs, the figure picked up a knife that glinted off the light above her. She whimpered involuntarily and started to fight against her restraints, throwing her head back when she was unsuccessful. "Hoffman…christ Hoffman stop please! Look if John--" within an instant her captor was beside her again at her head, brushing the back of his hand against her cheek and chuckling as she jerked her head away defiantly. She watched as the blade of the knife was brought to her cheek and the pressed hard against her skin, causing her to wince and hiss between clenched teeth as she felt it sink into her skin. It was quickly pulled away, her blood covering the tip before her attacker leaned down, pressing his lips against the superficial cut. She tried to jerk away, but a firm hand with the knife still in it, pressed against the other side of her face as she felt their tongue slide across her cheek. She shuddered at the sensation and cringed a bit as she felt the lips of the man curl into a small smirk before they stepped back. Bringing the knife back to her skin he very slowly with a small amount of pressure drug it down between her breasts before circling both with the tip and bringing it down to her belly button, across her thighs to the most sensitive part of her body between her legs. Brushing the back side of the blade just barely across the lips, she heard a hitch in the breath of her attacker as she shuddered and gasped, biting her bottom lip - clearly they were watching her every move and yet she still couldn't see their face through the hood. Now she was getting panicked, uncomfortable from the beginning but it was starting to turn a lot more serious "Christ just let me go!!!"

"Not yet. There is something you must…_learn_ from this." She looked at her attacker with rage in her eyes, watching their lips curl into a smile as they suddenly climbed up on the table between her legs. Her eyes went wide and she started to fight even more violently then before, feeling the pressure of their hands on her legs to stop her from causing herself unnecessary damage just yet. "I told you to listen to me." before she could say anything she felt the heat of their body through the cloak as they crawled on top of her, bringing a gloved hand up and placing it over her eyes. She jerked her head side to side to try and shake them off so she could see who it was doing this horrible thing to her before she felt the tip of the knife under her chin and froze to avoid impaling herself. "Good girl." something about the way those words were said got her mind racing and she felt the lips of her attacker press against her own, forcing their tongue between her lips to tangle with her own, wrapping around it and massaging it lightly before slipping out and she suddenly felt something cold on her tongue, tasting the metallic taste of her own blood as the knife was drug gently down her tongue before she felt her attacker slide off of her to the side and uncover her eyes. She was breathing hard now, her heart racing as she watched them walk to the end of the table again and set the knife down in the same place it was before. Gloved hands started to slide up the inside of her thighs, her muscles tensing as she realized there was no escape like they said - clearly if John would have been able to hear her by now he would have came to her rescue.

Reaching up with their left hand, the man pulled his right glove off, tossing it aside before doing the same with the other and then again ran his fingers up the inside of her thighs. The feel of her soft skin under their fingertips caused them to shudder visibly and she suddenly felt like hot fire was being strewn across her flesh at the sensation of their fingertips on her bare skin. Why the hell was that reaction happening? Before she could piece this puzzle together she felt their fingers brush against her opening as they climbed up between her legs. One finger slipped past her lips before withdrawing, her attacker shaking their head and smiling, speaking huskily and gritty again "Hmm, not very prepared are we?" What the fuck was Hoffman doing?! There was no other man in here that could do this except John and he wouldn't--before her thought could be completed she felt his tongue brush against her lips and her breath caught. Fingers curled into a ball as his tongue slid up and down before his lips sealed around her clit, his tongue flicking out against it as he sucked. She gasped and shivered, arching her back and moaning and felt awful for reacting this way to someone other then John - what would he say if he found out about this? As soon as they started they slipped two fingers within the depths of the heat between her legs, flexing them in unison with the movement of their tongue. Tensing, she tossed her head back and gasped before crying out, closing her eyes tightly in shame until she heard him speak again "Open your eyes, look at me."

Hesitantly she opened her eyes, but simply lay there with her mouth agape as she saw them pull down the hood and the man behind this torture, behind this strangely twisted and sick sense of erotic satisfaction was John. Essentially it was the Jigsaw side of John that craved this dark and lustful moment as he smirked at her, shrugging off the robe to expose nothing but flesh hidden underneath of it. Reaching behind him, he pulled a key from the pocket of the robe and unlocked the cuffs around her ankles, taking hold of her thighs and causing rivers of fire against her skin as he ran his fingers down them before wrapping them around his waist. Perfectly positioned, he thrusted into her warmth, watching her finally respond instead of staring at him in shock and grinned. Her legs tightened around his waist as he thrusted with a steady rhythm, gripping tightly to her butt and pulling her hard into him. He watched carefully as she pulled even harder on the chains now, moaning and shuddering underneath of him, the small trickle of blood dripping down her neck and onto the table from where the knife pierced the skin. Leaning over her, he quickly brought his lips down her own, reaching up with his free hand while thrusting aggressively into her and with skillful fingers unlocked the lock on the chains. Her arms relaxed and they both listened to the sound of the chain hitting the floor and curling up like a snake at the head of the table.

Without warning she bit down hard on his bottom lip as he pulled away, causing him to growl in response before he realized that she broke his lip open, tasting the tangy metal of his blood on her tongue. Pulling back away from her, he looked at her confused before pounding hard into her body, watching her struggle as she shuddered and finally started to scream in response, causing him to grin. She finally managed to reach up around his neck, finding the momentum to push him backwards and in turn ended up bringing her with him so she was sitting in his lap. With her legs still wrapped around his neck, she tried to glare through expressions of bliss and John couldn't help but to laugh at the power struggle she was toying with. If she wanted control, she would have to do better then that and right now Jigsaw wasn't even halfway interested in giving her any control at all over the situation. Reaching behind her, he grabbed her hair, pulling her head back and heard her hiss before gasping as he pressed his lips hard to her skin, the heat between them causing them both to sweat in response. Lately John had ignored the side of him that wanted nothing more then to dominate her, show her who was in charge, only to give way to the passion. Not that he didn't feel the passion with her in this moment, but Jigsaw loved control and he was going to get submission from her. Grabbing her hips, he raised her up before impaling her on his member, feeling her throat move with the cry that pierced the darkness of the room. Biting down a bit, he heard her breath hitch as his teeth threatened to pierce the delicate skin of her neck before he released her hair. Bringing both hands up, he placed her hands on his shoulders, encouraging her to take the lead and she did without any more instruction. John grinned as his lips pressed against her own, her tongue slipping into his mouth now as she moved up and down, rolling her hips in the process.

He broke their kiss to take hold of her hips and stop her "Unwrap your legs from around my waist."

"Don't think--"

"…_now_ Michelle." the aggression of his breathy voice caused her to obey as John lifted her up, turning her so her back was to him. He had her sit up on her knees, doing the same before reaching behind him and grabbing the knife of the table. Coming up behind her as she looked over her shoulder, he brought the knife under her chin "Tch tch. Now behave. I want you to scream." Without another word he slid into her warmth from their position on the table, wrapping an arm around her waist and holding her back against his chest as he guided them to move together. She obeyed his wishes, crying out with each aggressive thrust, with the sensation of the tip of the knife digging into her skin - this shouldn't have been so thrilling to her, but Jigsaw managed to bring out a darkness in almost every soul he grasped. Panting hard, John growled into her ear, lowering the knife to the table and brought his now free hand between her legs, stroking her clit in their last few moments of ecstasy. He was groaning and growling and she was crying out before he felt her back arch. She cried out his name louder then he had heard before and the trembling that was racking her body was the most intense he had felt in a long time. John himself growled out her name, dropping his head into the crook of her neck and panting hard as he held her tight to his chest, feeling her slick skin against his own, the heat of her body against his. Her skin felt like it was on fire and satisfied with that sensation, John smirked into her neck, listening to her pant as she came down off of her orgasm with him. She finally relaxed into his arms, John sitting back and bringing her with him into his lap. He reached up and turned her face to the side, pressing his lips to her own before he coaxed her to twist her body, his hand against her cheek as for the time being all he wanted was the contact of their skin and lips.

Pulling away, he took her face in his hand, looking at her with the same eyes that Jigsaw always did when it was time to deal with business "Say it." She looked at him confused and saw him grin before gripping a bit tighter and once again demanding her obedience "_Say it_. I know you feel it, so say it. I want to hear it."

For a moment she was quiet before she very carefully spoke "I--love you." She saw him grin before he let go, holding her close to him and for the time being she realized that not only did she admit the deepest secret in her heart, but that she would be spending the few moments of peace and euphoria with Jigsaw, not John.


	5. Heartache

**Inspired by the events of "Turning Over Old Leaves" by SawManiac211 (if you haven't gone and read this one -- GET TO IT! :P)**

* * *

The apprentice sat quietly watching her teacher in the fashion she always used to - that was until she felt like the walls of her life came crumbling down around her. The induction of the detective was the first upset in what she saw as their perfect life together but when the "other woman" showed herself to have that little instinct John loved seeing so much, her life flipped completely upside down in her mind. She loathed the attention John gave to her, the time they spent together, and even more so the physical affections John allowed himself to show her. That was supposed to be _her _place, beside John, not this worthless nothing that didn't appreciate her life. As her world turned even further upside with Hoffman's life suddenly being intertwined with her own, she couldn't help but to realize that the tables would more then likely never turn back around. It wasn't that she didn't care dearly for Hoffman it was just that her heart would never allow her to let go of the teacher, father-figure, and the man she idolized.

Looking down at her hands, she balled them up into fists before releasing them and repeating the process and her behavior must have caught John's attention. As she looked up to see him facing her he looked the way she first remembered - grease strewn across his aging features, wringing his hands with a cloth to clean them off. He didn't look nearly as plagued by his disease as he had before and it pissed her off to realize that it was more then likely thanks to his constant company. For a moment his blue eyes locked with her own gaze and he cracked a small smirk before motioning towards the trap he was busy working on "Would you like to help me?"

"Would…you like me to?"

"Of course." smiling he watched as the petite brunette approached before smiling at him and knelt down, grabbing the tools and looking over the plans lying on the floor. John needed to take a small break and overall, Amanda was like a daughter to him. Sitting down in the chair Amanda was in not far from where he was working, he sighed before raising a fist to his mouth and closing his eyes tightly, coughing raggedly into his fist.

Amanda raised her head up from her work to watch him and when she realized it wasn't fading as quickly as it normally did, she set the screwdriver down and walked over to him, patting him on the back in an attempt to help him. She let out an equivalent of a squeak as blood seeped out between his fingers, dripping onto the floor and she grabbed the cloth he wiped his hands with. Pulling his hand away, as he sat up, Amanda raised the cloth to his mouth and wiped it off, offering it to him to wipe his hand.

He watched her silently as he wiped his fingers off, nodding to her "Thank you. I think I need to head back up and get some rest." He watched the frown cross her features, saw her drop her head and tilted his head to the side, placing a hand on her shoulder. He watched her gaze meet his own and in spite of the fact they were working on a trap, his gaze was surprisingly gentle. "Do you think you can finish this up for me?" As she nodded, he gave her shoulder a squeeze before smiling and heading out of the room and upstairs, leaving Amanda to not only work in silence, but also stew (which was never a good thing).

Once finished with the trap, Amanda headed upstairs, covered in grease and sweat from working so hard to get a set of gears to properly thread together. Taking the tie out of her hair, she let her long brunette hair cascade down her back, running her fingers through it before heading in the direction of the bathroom. The hot shower was a welcome relief for the tension in her muscles and the sensation of it running over the scars adorning her body was strangely euphoric. It sent chills through her body and for a while she simply studied the array of them strew across her body before realizing the water was starting to get cold. Once turned off, she stepped out and dried her hair vigorously before drying herself off and looked down at the bathroom floor - damnit, she forgot clean clothes. Wrapping the towel around herself, she gathered up her clothing and headed out the doorway, pausing in her steps as she saw John heading her way.

John stopped short in the hallway, still covered in grease having gotten caught up in a design rolling around in his head that kept him too busy to shower at the moment. He watched his young apprentice stare at him for quite some time before finally breaking the silence between them "Amanda. Is everything okay?"

Blinking back to life, she looked down at herself, wrapped in the towel and looked back up to him, smiling and nodding her head - earth to Amanda. "Yeah, just forgot something else to wear." Whenever something possessed Amanda to get into a frenzy, it was often times unexpected and overwhelming for the people around her. "Where's Michelle?" the cutting remark, the way she said it clearly startled John a bit.

"She went to get some things for me, why?"

"I thought she was supposed to be here taking care of you."

"Amanda. I'm fine, I felt fine and she asked before she left. There's no reason to be upset." He eyed her cautiously, seeing the strange fire building inside and wasn't sure what had gotten into her. All he knew was that he didn't want to have this conversation with her if it was leading to where he thought it was.

Before John could really think the distance between them was bridged and Amanda stood right in front of him, looking up at him, just barely out of reach of her towel covered body touching his. "Why do you care about her? What makes her so special? I--I thought that you loved me."

"I do love you. You're like a daughter to me, you mean the world to me." He saw her grimace at his response before she frowned, clearly waiting for him to answer the other questions she had for him. Clearly not pleased by the way Amanda was starting to act, John figured separating themselves was the better answer and shook his head at her, starting to walk back to his room.

Enraged by him ignoring her and also terribly hurt over the lack of answers, she rushed after him, grabbing his arm forcefully and causing him to turn around to look at her, now with an expression of completely displeasure. "Why won't you answer me?! Are you ashamed of her? Of how you feel about her?"

Sneering, John took hold of her arm and looked her directly in the eyes "I am not ashamed of anything. And my feelings in regards to Michelle are my own not to be shared with anyone else."

She glared at him, trying to jerk her arm until she realized he had a tight grip on it "Bullshit. I asked you a fucking question! Answer me! Do you love her? _**DO YOU LOVE HER**_?"

She could see the anger in his eyes as he snarled ever so slightly "You want the answer? You really want this? Yes, I love her. And I also love you, but not the same. Why does it matter so much to you?!"

"_Because I love you_! I loved you from the very first moment and you just ignored it. She didn't even love you at first, she hated what you did to her!"

"Amanda…don't start. I didn't ignore it, I didn't acknowledge it because to me you are like a daughter, why is that not enough?" He watched the expression on his young apprentice's face sink and sighed deeply, frustrated with her but able to put that aside as clearly she was horribly troubled by this conversation.

"…because I would have given you everything. My heart, my soul, my--"

"She's done the same. How can you judge her without even speaking to her? You and Hoffman both have a problem with her being here but she's here because _I _want her here. It's _my_ rules, Amanda. Remember that." Letting go of her arm, he watched her curl into herself, watching the emotional breakdown and seeing those tears she tried so hard to hide drip onto the concrete floor beneath their feet. He sighed and placed a hand on her shoulder "Amanda…get some rest."

She didn't even know where it came from, but without warning she looked up at him as he touched her bare shoulder feeling the sparks from his fingertips against her skin and reached up, pulling the corner of her towel out and letting it drop to the floor. She watched him freeze and look at her, expressionless, and then the tears started to fall without warning down her cheeks flushed from anger. "I'm willing to do anything--"

"Amanda. What about Mark, hmm? Do you really think this is fair to him? Listen, the detective and I came to an understanding about his relationship with you and both agreed to the terms. You need to uphold your part of the bargain." Bending down he picked up the towel off the floor and held it up to her as her hands slowly came up to take hold of it.

She was breathing hard now, getting upset that he turned her down but he was right. What about the detective? She loved him and now she was doing this because of what? Because she didn't want to allow John the same thing he allowed her? "But she--she…"

"…I don't deserve her if anything Amanda. Because when it comes down to it, you and Hoffman have more time to spend then she and I ever will. I will end up leaving her behind to mend yet another wound in her life. Michelle will have to go on without me. Do you remember how you felt thinking you wouldn't be capable of saving Mark? How do you think she feels knowing she cannot save me and how I feel knowing I cannot save her the pain? You know how you feel about Mark? Why not allow me the same with her?"

"…then why even let yourself get close?"

"I don't have the answer to that. It just feels…_right_. All I can do now is make the days we spend together count." He could see the wheels turning as Amanda processed the information before he sighed and nodded to her, giving her a gentle push towards her room.

In spite of their talk, Amanda knew her heart would never let go of John Kramer. He was everything the detective wasn't and that was both a good and bad thing. Amanda would go on loving the detective, cherishing her moments with him. But she would also go on loving John, thinking of what could have been and in spite of everything he said, she would loathe the very day Michelle entered into their world and became John's everything.

_Is it you I want or just a notion of? A heart to wrap around so I can find the way around. Safe to say from here we're getting closer now. We are never sad cause we are not allowed to be. Rain rain go away, come again another day. All the world is waiting for the sun._


	6. Protector

_Shelter me from this again, dedicated to the end. Help me break my conscience in to free us from our innocence. I am losing you again. Let me out and let me in. Cause your not alone here (not at all). Let me belong here, break my fall._

She struggled to open her eyes, her head throbbing on the left side of her temple but the cold sensation of the concrete against it gave her a strange sense of relief. Slowly she shuffled her hands until they were underneath her body and pushed herself up, her arms shaking as she pitched from side to side a little. She was not only dazed but so dizzy she felt like she was going to get sick. Her blurred vision focused in and out but this time it was worse then it had even been and it took her a moment to focus on the floor underneath of her but not very long to realize that it was tinged with a dark cherry colored red blood stain that was abnormally large. Blinking a few times to rationalize this in her mind, she reached up to the side of her head that started throbbing, wincing a bit since even the slightest touch was ungodly painful. As she pulled her hand away, she looked down at it to see it coated in the same dark cherry red as the stain on the floor and abruptly fell backwards into a sitting position, rolling her fingers together in it. Now, normally anyone else would have screamed but this lifestyle she was living desensitized her so much that she merely sat in a state of confusion and not hysteria.

Looking around the room through slanted eyes that were having trouble focusing thanks to whatever hit her in the temple, she saw nothing that would indicate she was in any trouble. The only thing that registered was the cloak overtop of something rather large, causing her to tilt her head to the side in confusion. It took her a while to get up, stumbling as she pressed her hand to the side of her head, her shirt soaked in her blood. She tried to regain her balance, stumbling blindly over to the door first. Before pushing against it she peered at the almost invisible wire and then around the doorway realizing that there was indeed a trip wire here to detonate whatever was on the door. Frowning, she stepped back and sighed, shaking her head - if John was trying to test her ability to think on her feet like he did from time to time she was going to kill him (and that still didn't explain the unnecessary bashing in of her temple). Next her attention turned to the cloak and she slowly approached it, fingering the material cautiously and looking around to make sure that pulling it off wouldn't give her any unnecessary surprises. Whatever it was it was big and very carefully she started to pull it off before jerking it hard to get it to come off the top after all she saw were someone's legs. As the cover billowed down to the floor she put her hands up to mouth, feeling a strange sickness in the pit of her stomach.

"Oh…oh shit JOHN!" rushing up to the motionless man in the trap, she stopped short at the bottom of the platform and simply stared in disbelief. Realizing that wouldn't help she started to call his name in an attempt to wake him up - how the fuck did the creator end up playing his own sick and twisted games?! "JOHN! John answer me. Fucking answer me! Wake up!" Searching around frantically for some way to free him from the trap, she paused as she heard a groan and realized she was holding her breath, waiting for a sign from him that he was indeed alive.

Slowly John lifted his head, running his tongue over his lips due to the parched sensation in his mouth before he tasted the ever familiar taste of blood in his mouth. His vision was slightly blurry and it took only few minutes before his eyes focused on Michelle standing in front of him with an expression of horror on her face - not only that, she was covered in blood and he could faintly hear her calling his name through the buzzing in his ears. He noticed he had free movement in all of his limbs but there was a strange sensation around his neck - interesting, a collar and a chain. John wasn't really calculating what was happening to him as much as he was trying to figure out if where he was was real. Seeing the panic in Michelle's eyes clued him in to the fact that he was indeed in a rather precarious situation and there were only two people that could be blamed for this - which one was going to pay first when he got out was another question. He finally managed to find the ability to speak after collecting all the necessary data, extending his hand in her general direction to calm her down "Relax. Remember, panicking won't help either of us."

"…how the fuck does this happen in the first place?! John, is this a fucking joke cause it's not funny, I'm going to tell you that right--"

"No. I didn't do this, but I have two guesses as to who did."

The expression of horror turned into sorrow as she dropped her head momentarily to look at the ground. Oh, so this is how it happened huh? They were tested to see if they trusted one another and now they were testing them? Why would Amanda go against the man she idolized and why would Hoffman take that risk of losing his own life? She heard that eerie buzz, knew it well, and quickly turned around to face the TV as Billy spoke to his very own "father".

"Hello John and Michelle. I'll skip the formalities as I'm sure you already realize the situation you have found yourselves in. John, you claim that the heart cannot be involved, however you have essentially disobeyed your own rules by allowing yourself attachment to a test subject. In this time you have selfishly requested her love and attention with the realization that you will one day leave her very early on to fend for herself with the promise of your eternal guidance. You appear to love this girl yet seem to only be using her, unable bring yourself to even profess it to her with the very word "love". Are you willing to leave her with no true notion of your affections, to mourn what might have been, or will you tell her the truth of how you feel? You have neglected your so-called "daughter" in pursuit of your own selfish happiness.

Michelle, for the past months you have brought yourself deeper and closer into the world of Jigsaw when you swore to yourself that you would never become a killer like this man. Not only have you involved yourself in his work but you have involved yourself in every part of his life, selflessly giving your body to him at his every call. But do you truly love the man before you in the way that would dictate your actions or are you just seeking your own physical satisfaction? You know the consequences for getting attached to this man, the length of his life being short, however you continue on this path - is it one of self destruction? You struggle to express your feelings, well tonight you'll show him and I just how you feel."

A spotlight flickered on to a metal box with on glass window and a key hanging inside, both of them staring at it silently, deep in thought as the instructions continued.

"In that box is the key to unlock the collar around John's neck. You have 30 seconds to get the key to him. If you fail to do so, the platform under his feet with drop out and his neck will snap. Seems simple? Listen carefully, there is a trick. Upon approaching the box you must stand on the metal pedal on the floor in order to get the door to open Upon reaching into the box you will have snake venom injected into your bloodstream - there is no escaping this. There will only be a very short period of time after you are injected before your internal tissues start to dissolve and your heart stops. The only antidote for the venom is upstairs. Ironic, isn't it? Michelle, are you willing to sacrifice your very life to save John or will you let him die?"

As the TV buzzed off she looked to John before looking at the camera in the corner of the room. "You stupid motherfucker this is an unwinnable fucking trap!!! John gave both of you a chance to live! One of is going to have to die!!" That was it, the realization hit her - one of them was going to die, whether she chose to die for him or he chose to die for her. Turning back around to face him, she saw the timer on the wall ticking down quickly, with only 20 seconds left to spare. "John…"

John sighed and shook his head, disappointed and clearly aware that Hoffman was the one behind this. There wasn't anything he could say to make her feel better…except for one thing "Michelle. My time is up soon anyway. Do not make this sacrifice for m--MICHELLE!!!" Before he could finish he watched the young woman rush to the metal box and pause before the pedal, turning to look at him once more. "Don't do this! LISTEN TO ME!"

"But--"

"But _nothing_. Come here!" he turned his head to glance at the clock on the wall as the remaining 10 seconds were counting down before turning to face her.

She was hesitating, looking to the clock herself - 8 seconds left. Oh god, she couldn't let him die like this, she cared she…she really did. "John, I can't let you die, okay, I can't! I would give anything--"

"I know!" he shouted as he looked to her, seeing her expression change as the last remaining seconds ticked away. "I know that you care. I know that--"

"But…shit, I love you okay?!" she turned to face the box, tromping on the pedal as the metal door swung open but the sound of John screaming her name stopped her once again.

"Michelle! Listen to me I lo--" The clock ticked to zero and the platform opened up. Michelle watched helplessly as the weight of John's body carried him towards the floor, his neck snapping, the metal collar cutting into his flesh, causing a spray of blood to shower the very floor beneath him. The very sound caused her heart to stop, the tears suddenly pouring from her eyes and it was as if it lasted forever as she rushed towards him, feeling as though the distance was just too far away.

"OH FUCK NO JOHN!!!--"

"**JOHN**!" she sat up abruptly in the bed, her body covered in a cold sweat, her heart racing, and her hands shaking uncontrollably as tears ran down her face. What the fuck?? It was just a dream? She shivered even though she wasn't cold, looking around frantically for any sign of John before seeing the light above his desk on, realizing that he had mentioned he was going to work on a trap tonight. She could have woken the dead with the way she just screamed and at this rate, she felt like she did. She wrapped her arms around herself, shuddering before realizing she was about to throw up. Quickly rushing out of bed, she ran into the bathroom, practically collapsing to the floor as she did the one thing everyone hated doing - "praying to the porcelain god." She could feel the burning sensation, closing her eyes as the tears continued to flow, wrapping her arms tightly around the toilet. "Oh god…" the very dream itself was what caused the reaction but now she would be haunted by it for the rest of the night. Why did she even dream that? Was it because she was afraid of what life would be like without him? Was it because she worried about knowing how he felt for her? Was it because she questioned her own existence within the walls of this warehouse, within the life of John Kramer? Or was it because of what she witnessed with Hoffman and Amanda that day? She didn't have the answer but the person standing in the doorway who heard her screams would want to know...


	7. Conditions

**For the Hoffman/Amanda lovers out there.**

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Michelle sighed and set the pencil down on the desk, shaking her head before running a hand over her face and pushing the chair back from it. John was busy working downstairs and really didn't seem to want her to spend too much time down in the basement since she kept complaining of feeling chilled lately even when it was clearly hot as hell in the warehouse. The reason she couldn't concentrate was the clearly obvious sound of moaning - and she thought she got a little out of control. It wasn't just Amanda either, it was clearly Hoffman too…ha! Standing up, she picked up the cloak off the back of the chair and swung it over her shoulders, heading out of the room and down to the basement to find John and see if there was something she could do to help him since she clearly wasn't going to get anything creative done in this current atmosphere.

In the confines of Amanda's room, Hoffman groaned, gritting his teeth as he gently placed a hand on the back of the young woman's head, watching his member disappear into the silky sensation of her mouth. Amanda gripped the base tightly, sliding her hand up and down with the motion of her mouth, grinning each time Hoffman moaned louder. She verygently drug her teeth up the length of him before circling her tongue around the tip, flicking it lightly and peering at the detective with his head thrown back and his eyes closed in sheer bliss. When she started to stroke him with just her hand, she saw his head come up, a devious grin before he sat up and grabbed her biceps, spinning them both around and practically throwing her onto the bed. Smirking at the detective, she tried to sit up, but he placed a hand on her shoulder, forcing her back down as he snaked kisses down from just under her breasts all the way down her stomach and to the inside of her thigh. Amanda shuddered and her breath hitched as she gripped the sheets tightly, balling them up in her fists.

Hoffman looked up at the brunette lying prone to him one more time before grinning and extended his tongue, very slowly dragging it up her delicate lips between her legs. He watched her legs shudder before he dropped his head down, his tongue swirling around her clit. Amanda started to arch under the ministrations of his tongue, Hoffman plunging into the depths of her flower and groaning at the taste of her. Eventually Amanda started to writhe uncontrollably, thrashing around as Hoffman added two fingers to the mix. Without warning she thrusted her hips upwards in response, Hoffman grunting as she practically cracked him in the nose, sitting up and rubbing the bridge of it "Christ Amanda."

Amanda sat up on her elbows, frowning a bit "I'm sorry Mark…"

"Shut up." grinning he grabbed her hips, pulling her closer to him, positioning his aching need at her entrance before very slowly slipping into the moist heat, making sure to 'pay her back' for cracking him in the nose. He grinned deviously at her begging and pleading with him to not go so slow before he plunged the rest of the way into her heat, listening to the sound of her crying out in response. If there was one thing Hoffman loved it was not only control, it was also the sound of a woman (especially Amanda) screaming in bliss at the feeling of him fucking them for all they were worth. Pumping in and out of her warmth, he dropped his head and grunted before moaning, listening to the sound of her panting through moans. Beads of sweat collected on her pale skin and Hoffman leaned down, dragging his tongue from her belly button up to her nipple, circling around it as he tasted the salty beads adorning her skin. He watched as Amanda arched her back, clamping his teeth around her nipple and flicking his tongue over the pert little mound before grabbing hold of her hips tightly and pounding away at a frenzy.

He couldn't control himself much longer, completely aroused by the way Amanda was responding to his actions and clearly Amanda didn't care how quickly it went at this point - she had her thighs clamped like vices around his waist. Throwing his head back, Hoffman growled "Oh fuck Amanda…" before he lost control, Amanda thrashing underneath of him, at the peak of her own orgasmic bliss as she cried out his name so loud, she more then likely could have penetrated the concrete floor of the warehouse and echo throughout the walls, but she didn't care. Collapsing on top of her, Hoffman mashed his lips aggressively into her own, his tongue darting into her mouth - he liked these conditions and was glad that he could now do this whenever he and Amanda felt the need.

She leaned in the door, her hands practically disappearing in the sleeves of the cloak as she looked into the room, bringing an arm up to her mouth and nose - well now, this was unpleasant. John was currently in the process of looking over his newest set up that would bring whoever the test subject was into rooms laced with people who already died and were, unfortunately, long since dead.

John looked up at her, sighing a bit and stepping over the lifeless body of a previous subject heading in her direction. Putting his hands on her biceps, he rubbed lightly and watched as she slowly pulled her arm away from her face. "What are you doing down here? I thought you've been feeling sick, you don't need to get worse."

"…the same applies to you wandering around down here with no one around."

"Touché my dear." smiling, he stepped away and back over to the little brick ledge, setting a tape recorder on it, also dressed in the black and red robes. "So why did you come down here? Clearly I doubt it was just to check on me."

She hated when he read her mind and he did it often. She simply shrugged in response as he looked at her and nodded her head towards the ceiling indicating the location of 'upstairs'. "Hoffman and Amanda were…hmm…_busy_ and I didn't really care to sit there where I couldn't do anything worthwhile so I figured I could kill two birds with one stone." She heard him chuckle before he rose up and wandered to another part of the room, crouching down to fix something.

"Remember, we tend to cause the same strife for the two of them most nights of the week." He looked up to see her face flush and couldn't help but to laugh before frowning as she doubled over and coughed into a clenched fist for a few minutes. It reminded him of his own struggles, but luckily he seemed to just be getting sick with something that wouldn't kill her as quickly as his own disease was doing to him. He grinned and looked over at her as she looked at him, clearly caught up in Jigsaw's frame of mind at the moment. "Are you offering your assistance to move someone since you claim to want to 'kill two birds with one stone'?"

She looked down at herself realizing she was more then dressed for the occasion and shrugged a bit before nodding her head "Alright, fine. I hate this though and you know it." She frowned at him and couldn't help but to smirk a bit at his chuckle as he rose from his crouched position and walked up to her, taking hold of her arm as they headed down the hallway together to set up yet another test of someone's resolve and willingness to live.


	8. Listen Closely

**You voted and here is one. Please continue to vote for the next. **

**Amanda/Michelle moment, a little more emotional then most considering I wanted to explore Amanda's "softer" side. **

**Inspired by Eminem's song "Beautiful". I believe it truly describes the emotional struggle of the protagonist.**

* * *

_Lately I've been hard to reach, I've been too long on my own. Everybody has a private world where they can be alone. Are you calling me? Are you trying to get through? Are you reaching out for me like I'm reaching out for you…_

She tapped the pen methodically, letting it waver back and forth between her fingers. She was completely oblivious to everything around her, staring aimlessly at the pen as it teetered and spun with her subtle movements. Two tears mindlessly streamed down her cheeks, those usually bright eyes very dull and lifeless at the moment. Her gaze shifted very slowly to the doorway as she hard the pained coughing coming from the medical room and she sighed, closing her eyes tightly and rising from the chair as the pen toppled to the floor - but she didn't go into the medical room, instead she pushed her way through the plastic flaps and headed into the lair. When she got to the middle of the room she stood there silently, her head dropping as she fingered the bottom hem of her shirt, staring blankly at the concrete.

_I'm just so fuckin' depressed I just can't seem to get out this slump. If I could just get over this hump but I need something to pull me out this dump. I took my bruises, took my lumps, fell down and I got right back up. But I need that spark to get psyched back up in order for me to pick that mic back up. I don't know how or why or when I ended up in this position I'm in. I'm starting to feel distant again so I decided just to beat this pain up and tried to make an attempt to vent but I just can't admit or come to grips, with the fact that I may be done with rap, I need a new outlet. I know some shits so hard to swallow but I just can't sit back and wallow in my own sorrow. But I know one fact: I'll be one tough act to follow, one tough act to follow, I'll be one tough act to follow. Here today, gone tomorrow but you'd have to walk a thousand miles… _

The fiery brunette had a bit of a skip in her step as she walked into the room, ruffling her hair with a towel to dry it but she stopped dead in her tracks when she saw the redhead standing quietly in the middle of the room. Pursing her lips together, Amanda smirked a bit and raised her chin, piping up to get her attention "Hey. What's a matter? On your emotional period rollercoaster?" She was caught off guard as the young woman looked up at her, brows furrowing in frustration, her cheeks stained red from crying for quite some time it seemed. She watched a few tears roll down them before Michelle shook her head and sneered, turning on her heel. Amanda heard the pained coughing fit and looked over at the doorway before realizing that perhaps she had been a little too cruel. As Michelle headed towards the door to leave, Amanda picked up the pace, placing her hand on her shoulder and squeezing to get her to stop, turning her around to face her. "Look, I'm so--"

"…don't even apologize to me Amanda. I'm done with this." Shrugging off Amanda's hand she attempted to make it to the door one more time but she felt someone grab her hand, turning to look at the hand gripping her own before looking up into the eyes of the one person who wished death on her more passionately then anyone else in her life.

Sighing, Amanda yanked her, causing her to come back down the stairs and drug her over to one of the tables, pushing the pre-made traps off to the side and pulling out a chair. She pushed her down into the chair and leaned over, grabbing another and pulling it up next to her own. "Look, I'm sorry. What's going on? You're going downhill fast and I'm not the only one that sees that. And by the way, John would be horribly disappointed if he found out you were going out to get something to drink to deal with whatever is bothering you. Do you really want to hurt him?" Frowning, she tilted her head to the side, watching the fiery haired woman wipe the tears away as she listened to her. For the first time the two women made eye contact without the intention of wanting to tear each other apart. Amanda was genuinely concerned - not for her, but for John. If John really loved her as much as he said he did, she didn't want to see her break his heart by being a disappointment. Leaning back into the chair, she propped her boots up on the table, kicking something over in the process but not too worried about it. She folded her hands in her lap and listened intently - she was going to get to the bottom of all of this, _for John_.

_In my shoes, just to see what it's like, to be me. I'll be you, let's trade shoes just to see what it'd be like to feel your pain, you feel mine. Go inside each other's minds just to see what we find. Look at shit through each other's eyes. But don't let 'em say you ain't beautiful OoOo, they can all get fucked, just stay true to you sOoOoo. Don't let 'em say you ain't beautiful OoOo they can all get fucked, just stay true to you._

She cautiously watched Amanda for a little bit, unwilling to even open her mouth to this woman who clearly would give anything for her to be completely out of the picture. Shaking her head 'no', she simply looked at her hands for a few minutes before her eyes traced over the scars running up her wrists to her forearms. Shuddering visibly, she groaned and dropped her head back with her eyes closed, unable to control the sudden flow of tears. Dropping her head forward again, she took a deep breath, realizing if she simply kept all of this inside it would only cause more pain to deal with alone and if Amanda was listening, even if she didn't care, it was at least something to bounce her frustrations off of. "Every day is a new struggle, a new internal battle that I continually try to fight. I lost two of the most important people in my life years ago - two people that were there for me, no matter my faults. I bottled up the pain of my father's death so long that when my mother was murdered, I completely lost my mind. I spent years in therapy, psychiatric wards, and institutions to try and get over my addiction not only to death, but to pills." Looking over to her right for a moment she could see that Amanda was actually intently listening to her, her lips pursed into a tight line in quiet thought. Looking back to her arm, she ran her fingers over the scars and sighed deeply "I knew John a long time before here. I saw him every week and suddenly he started coming into the store every single day. Then I didn't understand, but now I do. We used to sit down for coffee and talk about his life - Jill, Gideon, his "work" which I was unaware of what it was at that time. John's whole world changed when he lost his son, his wife, and essentially his life. My whole world changed because I selfishly couldn't pull myself away from it and never wanted to. Then I end up here, trying to kill myself twice since being here - once by my choice and the other because I was so stressed over this world and couldn't pull myself away from it. And I got to see how much I really wanted to die and…I realized I didn't want to." Biting her bottom lip for a moment, a single tear slid down her cheek and reached up to brush it away, shaking her head. "Then I find out that I've grown attached to a man that basically put me in harm's way to just teach me a lesson about appreciating my life. Hopelessly attached at that, to the point I can't even listen to him suffer, I can't stand to be away for extended periods of time, and I agonize every day of my life about what happens after all of this. How do I walk back out onto the streets and live my life as if nothing happened? I asked myself that question when my mother and father died and now I'm asking myself this all over again. I hate this pain, I hate the pain of loving someone…"

_I think I'm starting to lose my sense of humor, everything is so tense and gloom I almost feel like I gotta check the temperature in the room. Just as soon as I walk in it's like all eyes on me so I try to avoid all eye contact cause if I do that then it opens a door to conversation. Like I want that...I'm not looking for extra attention I just want to be just like you: blend in with the rest of the room, maybe just point me to the closest restroom. I don't need fucking man servin' tryin to follow me around, and wipe my ass, laugh at every single joke I crack. And half of them ain't even funny like that. "Ahh Marshall, you're so funny man, you should be a comedian, god damn" Unfortunately I am, but I just hide behind the tears of a clown so why don't you all sit down, listen to the tale I'm about to tell. Hell, we don't gotta trade our shoes and you ain't gotta walk no thousand miles. _

The last part was whispered but Amanda clearly heard it, her boots sliding off the table as she ran her fingers through her hair, watching the woman before her shake with the reality that she would have to learn to live all over again if she chose to not stay here. Clearly she was thinking about this for quite some time, about leaving and never coming back but Amanda had to appreciate the fact that she felt so devoted to John that she always drug herself back. It would be so easy for her to disappear but clearly she knew that not only would she hurt John, she would hurt herself. Thinking for a moment, she finally knew what she wanted to say to the ailing heart of the woman before her. "Don't you dare tell John I told you this, do you understand me?" She waited for her to look at her, nodding in understanding. "John…John loves you. I don't think you understand how much to be honest and as much as I hate to say it, you being here for him is what he needs now no matter how much it hurts you. John would suffer worse without you here, you seem to be his definition of perfection."

_In my shoes, just to see what it's like, to be me. I'll be you, let's trade shoes just to see what it'd be like to feel your pain, you feel mine. Go inside each other's minds just to see what we find. Look at shit through each other's eyes. But don't let 'em say you ain't beautiful OoOo, they can all get fucked, just stay true to you sOoOoo. Don't let 'em say you ain't beautiful OoOo they can all get fucked, just stay true to you._

She laughed and shook her head slowly, placing her hands on the table and pulling a trap forward to run her delicate touch over the cold metal. "I am not John's definition of perfection, believe me. If anyone holds that title, it's Jill. She was and always will be John's definition of perfection. I'm here because John wanted to save me, because he felt I was worth more then I thought I was--"

"Because he wanted to give you someone to love and the confidence to believe you're worth more then you think you are." Amanda, in spite of herself, reached over placing her hand on top of one of Michelle's, watching her make eye contact with her. "Look, I understand your pain, more then you realize. You've suffered and lost a lot in the past and now you're going to understand what it's like to suffer all over again, but you need to be strong for John. He believes in you, believes in everything you are. These scars--" she ran her fingers over them watching her shudder in disgust at the mere idea of them and pulled her arm harder "--look at them. What do they tell you about yourself? That you can get through _anything_. If you can survive Jigsaw's games, you can survive life." Letting go of her arm she pulled up her sleeve, rolling it up to expose the number of scars adorning her skin and watched the pained expression on Michelle's face. "I've done this for year, especially without the drugs in my life anymore. I was on the verge of death myself and John helped me, he saved me. Others saw me as hopeless but he didn't. I did this because of my inability to detach myself from John and the pain of dealing with the two of you together. I still can't stand it, but I made a promise to Hoffman." The tone of her voice changed as she exchanged her inner thoughts and feelings to what she deemed an 'enemy'. Pushing the chair back, she stood up, leaning down and grabbing hold of her face, turning it to her own and forcing her to look her in the eye. "Listen carefully to me, don't you dare hurt John. You will fucking stay here and suck it up, be there for him, and love him. Drop the fucking alcohol and get over your self pity. You can handle this, but you have to dig deep to what John sees in you, not what pathetic life you see in yourself. And don't think this changes anything, because it doesn't. Now go take care of him." Pushing her face off to the side as she let go, Amanda scoffed and started to walk away, picking the towel up off the edge of the table. As she walked out of the room she felt a sense of pain and satisfaction at the same time. She wouldn't allow this pathetic excuse for a human being to abandon John in his darkest hour, no matter how much it hurt her. She couldn't help but to pity the girl though because in spite of her hard exterior, Amanda did have a hidden heart.

Sitting in silence for a few moments as she watched Amanda leave the room she sighed and brought both hands up, pushing her hair back out of her face. She could hear the weak voice of John calling to her and leaned back in the chair, pushing it away from the table before rising from it. Amanda was right, she had to suck it up, but what didn't help was the revelation of how John really felt - although he physically showed it, he never expressed it openly to her and in turn she would never openly express it to him - such were the games that guarded hearts played. Walking out of the lair, she headed into the medical room not only to check on John and care for him, but perhaps to come to terms with the reality that she would continue down the path of death and destruction…her _own_.

_Nobody asked for life to deal us with these bullshit hands we're dealt, we gotta take these cards ourselves and flip them, don't expect no help. Now I could have either just sat on my ass and pissed and moaned but take this situation in which I'm placed in and get up and get my own. I was never the type of kid to wait by the door, unpack his bags and sat on the porch and hoped and prayed for a dad to show up who never did. I just wanted to fit in every single place, every school I went. I dreamed of being that cool kid even if it meant acting stupid. Aunt Edna always told me "Keep making that face and it gets stuck like that" meanwhile I'm just standing there holding my tongue trying to talk like this. Till I stuck my tungue on the frozen stop sign poll at 8 years old. I learned my lesson then cause I wasn't tryin to impress my friends no more but I already told you my whole life story. Not just based on my description cause where you see it from where you're sitting it's probably 110% different. I guess we would have to walk a mile in each other's shoes, at least. What size you where? I wear tens, let's see if you can fit your feet_


End file.
